Financially Savvy Kids? How To Raise Them !!!

 With bagged lunches and crisp clean notebooks, kids everywhere are heading back to school to brush up on their math, English and geography skills. One lesson they won’t get in the classroom, however, is arguably one of the most important for their future success: How to smartly and responsibly handle money. That is a course we leave to parents, who do not get a lesson plan.

“Parents do great teaching kids good manners and how to be safe, make their beds and be culturally savvy,” says Mary Hunt, personal finance expert and author of recently released Raising Financially Confident Kids. “But so very often parents neglect the most important thing of all—to prepare them to be financially astute.”

Hunt says teaching good money skills can be a blind spot for parents because so many feel financially inept themselves. “Parents have this notion that because they are in debt or not saving enough, they have no basis to teach their children about money.” They’re wrong, Hunt says. Teaching financial literacy is like teaching any language. She provides a breakdown of how to talk about money, make use of everyday learning opportunities and provide kids with hands-on experience, so they can learn firsthand.

How To Talk About Money

When do you need to begin thinking about teaching money skills? “You start the moment you drive home from the hospital,” says Hunt. Kids are more likely to do what you do than do what you say, so right from the beginning it’s important to model healthy financial behaviors and talk often and calmly about money.

The first lesson kids must learn is that money has value, and when you spend it, it’s gone. When children are young, Hunt suggests always using cash when you’re with them rather than credit or debit cards. “Cash is very visual, clear cut and not confusing,” she says. “Credit sends a mixed message to kids.” Otherwise, they might have trouble grasping the concept of spending and believe that a magic card gets you anything you want.

Another important conversation is the difference between needs—necessary expenditures–and wants—the just-for-funs. Hunt believes parents should reinforce through words and actions that it’s important not to spend more money than you have. One good way is to keep the just-for-fun purchases in check by not giving in to a child’s every request or going overboard yourself. However, Hunt warns against saying, “We can’t afford it.” For a child, that translates to “we’re poor” and worries them. Instead, she suggests saying, “We choose not to spend our money that way.”

Allowance Ground Rules

While allowance can be a controversial topic for many parents, Hunt believes that giving children allowance is one of the best ways for them to learn how to handle money on their own. She suggests starting at age six and recommends $1 a week for their age ($6 a week for a 6-year-old and $15 a week for a 15-year-old). Start off with a weekly allotment and then extend it to bi-weekly for pre-teens and monthly for teens. That way, they’ll be continually challenged to plan and make it last longer.

Hunt says parents need to make it clear to the child what their responsibility is. Explain that the house, car, food and utilities are what parents pay for, and the child should consider their allowance personal spending money. Also, explain how you expect them to manage the money. Hunt recommends the following split: 40% goes toward spending; 40% toward short-term savings, like a new bike or toy; 10% toward long-term savings, like college or a car; and 10% toward giving. For young kids, labeled jars work to separate the money. Once they’re older, you can set them up with bank accounts that mirror the disbursements.

When kids have their own money, Hunt says, “It’s important they make choices and then live with the consequences.” That means: This is their money to do with as they please. If they spend a month’s allowance in the first week, too bad. Do not give them a loan. The point of the allowance is to teach them how to save for what they want. By experiencing negative consequences firsthand, they’ll learn to make smarter choices.

Top Teaching Opportunities

Routine tasks and chores can be great opportunities to show your kids how to handle money. Hunt recommends involving children in grocery shopping to help them understand planning, saving and finding the best value. Take them to the store and let them hold the list to demonstrate the concept of purposeful shopping. Point out the different pricing structures and brands. Ask them: Is it a better value to get 20 ounces for $4 or 40 ounces for $6? They’ll learn value and get to practice their math skills. However, Hunt cautions against taking children window-shopping or over-exposing them to stores, which may encourage consumerism and impulse buying.

The bank can be another good field trip. Even though most modern banking is done online, Hunt says it’s important to bring kids to a physical branch to show them how it works. Let them watch you make a deposit, or sit down with a bank manager and encourage the child to ask questions. Hunt says age 10 is a good time to help them open a savings account, teach the concept of interest and allow them to manage and track its progress online. Once they’re old enough to get a job, they need to have a checking account and debit card.

Many other teaching opportunities will present themselves naturally. As a way to teach the mechanics of credit, open up a credit card offer and walk your child through what it means to delay paying, carry a balance and pay interest. Use a first paycheck to explain taxes and apartment or house-hunting to explain the concept of a mortgage. “Keep teaching your kids new and more complicated concepts as they get older; they’ll understand,” Hunt says. “It’s our job as parents to give them roots and wings, so they can survive and thrive in the real world.”

How To Teach Kids About Money: 10 Dos And Don’ts

1. Do: Model Good Money Behavior
Kids are more likely to do what you do than do what you say. Make sure that you're showcasing healthy financial philosophies and behaviors in your own life.
2. Don't: Say "We Can't Afford It"
   While you want to teach your kids how to spend smartly, Hunt warns against saying "we can't afford it." The phrase may worry a child, who might think the family is struggling financially. Instead, she suggests saying, "We choose not to spend our money that way."
3. Do: Involve Kids In Household Shopping
   Hunt recommends involving children in household shopping by taking them to the store and letting them hold the list or coupons. Use it as an opportunity to talk about planning, saving and finding the best value.
4. Don't: Take Kids Shopping For Fun
   Don't over-expose children to shopping, warns Hunt. Positioning shopping as a leisure activity may encourage consumerism and impulse purchasing. 
5. Do: Bring Your Kids To The Bank With You
   Hunt recommends bringing your children into a physical bank branch to show them how banks work and encourage questions. Age 10 is a good time to open a savings account for them, she says, so they can start working with the bank themselves.
6. Don't: Use Credit Cards Around Young Children
   "Cash is very visual, clear cut and not confusing," says Hunt. "Credit sends a mixed message to kids." When children are young, she suggests always using cash to make purchases when you're with them. Otherwise, they may not understand the real consequences of spending and believe that a magic card will get you anything you want.
7. Do: Give An Allowance
   Although controversial, Hunt believes that children should get an allowance in order to learn how to handle money on their own. She suggests starting at age 6 with a weekly amount and then spacing out the timing as they get older. Use it as a way to teach short- and long-term saving, good spending habits and giving philosophies.
8. Don't: Give Your Kids Loans
   When kids have their own money, Hunt says, "It's important they make choices and then live with the consequences." That means if they spent their month's allowance in the first week, too bad. Don't give them a loan. By experiencing negative consequences firsthand, they'll learn to make smarter choices.
9. Do: Talk About Money Regularly And Casually
   Working money into casual conversations teaches children that finances are important, accessible and not too scary. Talking about it regularly is continual reinforcement of the concepts you've taught them and helps ensure they really understand.
10. Don't: Downplay The Importance Of Money
    Don't brush off questions about money or pretend that it's not important. Instill in your children from an early age that handling money in a smart and generous way is one of the most important aspects of a successful life.

source

14 Lessons From Benjamin Franklin About Getting What You Want In Life

Benjamin Franklin was a man of action. Over his lifetime, his curiosity and passion fueled a diverse range of interests. He was a writer (often using a pseudonym), publisher, diplomat, inventor and one of the Founding Fathers of the United States.

His inventions included the lightning rod, bifocals and the Franklin stove. Franklin was responsible for establishing the first public library, organizing fire fighters in Philadelphia, was one of the early supporters of mutual insurance and crossed the Atlantic eight times. Self-development was a constant endeavor throughout his incredible life.

Benjamin Franklin was clearly a man who knew how to get things done.

Here are 14 action-inducing lessons from him:

1. Less Talk, More Action  - “Well done is better than well said.” 
   Talk is cheap. Talking about a project won't get it completed. We all know people who constantly talk about the things they are going to do but rarely ever take that first step. Eventually people begin to question their credibility. Taking action and seeing the task through to completion is the only way to get the job done.
2. Don’t Procrastinate - “Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today.” 
   This is probably one of the first quotes I remember hearing as a teenager. With an impressive list of achievements to his credit, Benjamin Franklin was not a man hung up on procrastination. He was a man with clear measurable goals who worked hard to turn his vision into reality. What are you putting off till tomorrow that could make a difference in your life today?
3. Be Prepared - “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.”
   You need a plan to accomplish your goals. Charging in without giving any thought to the end result & how to achieve it, is a sure way to fall flat on your face. Think like a boy scout. Have a realistic plan of attack & a systematic approach for getting where you need to be.
4. Don’t Fight Change -  “When you're finished changing, you're finished.”
   Whilst many of us don’t like change, others thrive on it. Either way change is inevitable. The stronger we fight against it, the more time and energy it consumes. Give up the fight. Focus on proactively making positive changes, instead of having change merely thrust upon you. Wherever possible, try to view change as a positive instead of a negative.
5. Get Moving - “All mankind is divided into three classes: those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those that move.”
   There’s a reason we use the expression, movers and shakers. Movers are the ones who take action, the people who get things done, while the immovable are sitting around scratching their heads wondering how others could possibly be so successful. Which group do you want to belong to?
6. Avoid Busywork - “Never confuse motion with action.”
   We are always running around doing things. We rush from one meeting or event to the next, sometimes without achieving a great deal. At the end of the day, how much of our busywork are we proud of? How much of that running around improves anyone’s life (including ours) for the better? Make your motion mean something.
7. Give Yourself Permission to Make Mistakes - “Do not fear mistakes. You will know failure. Continue to reach out.”
   If we fear making mistakes, we become scared to try new things. Fear leaves us nestled in our comfort zone. Staying in your comfort zone rarely leads to greatness. Taking risks and giving yourself permission to make mistakes, will ultimately lead you to whatever your version of success may be.
8. Act Quickly on Opportunities - “To succeed, jump as quickly at opportunities as you do at conclusions.”
   Opportunities are everywhere. The trick is being quick enough and smart enough to seize them when they arise. Instead of jumping to the conclusion that something won’t work or can’t be done, allow yourself the freedom to ask what if?
9. Continue to Grow - “Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.”
   We all have vices of some description. The key is to keep them under control or preferably eradicate them entirely. Be kind to those around you, whether they are neighbors, family, co-workers or friends. Never accept that you have finished growing as a person.
10. Keep Going - “Diligence is the mother of good luck.”
    Have you ever looked at a successful entrepreneur or business person and thought how lucky they are? Most of the time, luck has nothing to do with it. Hard work and sacrifice on the other hand have everything to do with it. Successful people deal with failure. They tackle their demons head on. They pick themselves up and keep going.
11. Know Yourself - “There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one's self.”
    Understanding ourselves is not easy. Sometimes we just don’t want to see ourselves for who we really are. It’s much easier to hold onto a romanticized version of ourselves or to simply view ourselves through other people’s eyes. Start by being brutally honest with yourself. Follow through with understanding, compassion and acceptance.
12. Don’t Self-Sabotage - “Who had deceived thee so often as thyself?”
    We spend so much time worrying about other people hurting us, yet fail to comprehend the damage we inflict on ourselves. If you are using negative self-talk, lying to yourself or indulging in addictive behavior you are self-sabotaging. Life can dish up enough challenges without us adding to the mix. Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself like you would a best friend.
13. Don’t Give Up - “Energy and persistence conquer all things.”
    Achieving our goals can be downright exhausting. There will be days when you want to give up. There will be times when your energy levels flatline and you wonder why you bother getting out of bed. Yet you push forward, day after day because you believe in yourself and you have the determination and strength to back up that belief.
14. Wise Up - “Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late.”
    Benjamin was definitely onto something with this one. Who hasn’t had the thought - I wish I could know then, what I know now? Unfortunately there is no time machine; there is no going back. The key is to wise up as early as you can to start forging a life of purpose, achievement and happiness.

Expression

5 Reasons Couples Fight and Breakup and What you Can Do About It

Nearly everyone has experienced a relationship breakup or divorce and it can be one of the most painful periods in your life as you try to heal your broken heart. What we have discovered in our relationship coaching practice, many breakups don't have to happen.

So, if breakups don't have to occur, what cases them and how can you prevent them?
Here are four ideas to help you better understand why breakups happen and what you can do to prevent them in your relationship.

1. Old Fears Surface.
It's to be expected that being in an intimate relationship will inevitable bring up fears and challenges from the past.These might include fearing not being good enough, attractive enough, wealthy enough or even feelings of abandonment. If fears are not expected, looked at and healed, they interfere in some way or another with the health of every relationship. Take some time to notice when the fears surface, be loving with yourself but look inward instead of outward blaming your partner for what clearly is your issue.

Ask yourself if your fears are "true" or are you just making "stories" up in your head. If you are creating those "stories"and there's no basis of truth to them, then change your thinking. It's not always easy to do and it takes moment by moment monitoring of your thoughts. If you need help and support to make the changes you want in your life, be courageous enough to get it.

You may not have healed your broken heart from past relationships that ended and you find it very difficult to trust your current partner or open your heart completely to him or her. We suggest that you stop living from the hurt of those past relationships and bring yourself into the present moment, without continuing the "stories" of the past. Commit to starting over, allowing your fears to be there but reminding yourself that this is a new day.

2. Not Feeling Understood, Valued, Loved and Appreciated.
Everyone wants to feel understood, valued, loved and appreciated and when we're not, we tend to either withdraw or attack the other person for not meeting our needs. If you want to be appreciated, start appreciating the other people in your life. Sounds simplistic but it really works!

If you are not feeling loved, start being open to seeing and feeling love and appreciation that people are giving you that you may not be aware of in your daily life. It may be that someone allows you to go ahead of them in traffic or tells you to go ahead in a grocery line. Send some appreciation back to them and to everyone around you and watch love snowball in your life.

3. Not Making their Relationship a Priority.
Many couples take each other for granted and don't give their relationship the attention it needs most of the time. The lack of closeness and connection can be overwhelming and can cause great loneliness.Make your relationship a priority in your life. Set aside time everyday to connect with your partner.

We believe that sex happens long before the bedroom. It starts all day long when you have thoughts about your partner. Are these thoughts positive or negative? It continues when you come together. Are you happy to see each other and express love and appreciation or do you great each other with a laundry list of chores, things to be done or grievances?

These are just a couple of ways we make our relationship a priority. Try them in yours!

4. One or Both People are Made to Feel They are"Wrong."
One of the biggest mistakes people make is that they make each other wrong. As soon as critical words are said, defenses and walls go up and suddenly that person who you love and they love you becomes an "enemy."

Before you jump into blaming and judging your partner, stop and take a moment to breathe.Ask yourself if making your partner wrong will drive you further apart or move you closer toward healing. Open your heart to understanding the dynamics of what's going on between the two of you. Understand the full story before you start making someone wrong. So often we assume to know what is in someone's heart and we really don't. Take the time to find out!

5. Not healing your heart after a previous relationship breakup
Many people go from relationship to relationship without truly healing their hearts. They never discover what went wrong in their previous relationship and what they could have done differently. They keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again and always expect a different outcome.

The Eskimos

The Eskimos who live in poles always lead a life of happiness and they never say there is a problem in their life.

Feeling jealous of this, the people living in nearby towns pledged to make an eskimo say he has a problem.

They kidnapped an eskimo and tied his eyes with black cloth and took him to a steep hill and at the peak removed the black cloth.

When the eskimo tried to find out where he was standing he could find a deep valley in front of him and found himself at the tip of the deadly point. People behind him then asked him if he is now in a problem but the eskimo said no. They then told him if he is prepared to accept there is a problem they will release him failing which they will push him into the deep valley and he had no chance of survival.

The eskimo again replied that he had no problem . When they asked how he could say this when his life is at danger, the eskimo replied "if i am pushed into the valley i am going to die and i will have no problem. If you change your decision and leave me free , i will be back to my place and i will have no problem" 

The villagers found the reality of life and let him go

I wish you an Eskimo life for you which means a no problem life

A moral/ethical dilemma

Five Golden Rules to Overcome Interview

Sweaty palms, dry and raspy throat and butterflies in the stomach. If that's how you usually feel before an interview, take heart in the fact that you're not alone. Although there are no statistics, HR professionals estimate that almost six out of 10 candidates, who appear for a job interview, are nervous and tense. But here's a little secret - a candidate, who appears nervous, dramatically reduces his or her chances to make it to the final list. So take a deep breath, pull yourself together and know the golden rules to overcome interview fears and bag your dream job.

1.Do your homework
Do ample research on your role, the company and the industry. HR heads say an unprepared candidate starts to fumble and stutter, and appears anxious when asked questions about the industry and how the company is performing. You can get the latest news from the company's annual report, its website, press releases, and of course the internet.

2.Rehearse your answers
Rehearse answers to the possible questions you may be asked. There are always some stock questions applicants face during interviews - Tell us something about yourself; Why do you want to change your job; how do you see yourself growing in this organization; what are your strengths and weaknesses and such. It pays to rehearse the answers either in front of the mirror, or with someone else.

3.The first 5-7 minutes are crucial
First impressions matter. Be extremely careful, in the first five to seven minutes of the interview, about what you say, how you conduct yourself and what impression you allow the interviewer to form of yourself. A candidate should be careful about his way of speaking, posture, attitude and the way he carries himself.

4.Don't appear desperate
When you want something too much, you get more nervous. HR heads say interviews should be seen as an opportunity to meet and interact with new people, and not as a do-or-die situation. This will dramatically reduce stress. Asking a question or two in return at the end of an interview, also gives the impression that s/he is not scared or desperate for the job.

5.Follow interview hygiene
Follow some basic interview hygiene rules. Dress neatly and don't look tired and sweaty. This will boost your confidence. Never look sleepy or stare at the interviewer.

Article Courtesy –Economic Times

The Garbage Truck (Story)

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his breaks, skidded and missed the other car by just inches!

The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean he was really friendly.

So I asked, "Why did you just do that? That guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!" That is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, "The Law of the Garbage Truck."

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets,

So... "Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't."

Life is ten percent of what you make it and ninety percent of how you take it!

10 principles for Peace of Mind..

1. Do Not Interfere In Others' Business Unless Asked.
Most of us create our own problems by interfering too often in others' affairs. We do so because somehow we have convinced ourselves that our way is the best way, our logic is the perfect logic and those who do not conform to our thinking must be criticized and steered to the right direction, our direction. This thinking denies the existence of individuality and consequently the existence of God.. God has created each one of us in a unique way. No two human beings can think or act in exactly the same way. All men or women act the way they do because God within them prompts them that way. Mind your own business and you will keep your peace.

2. Forgive And Forget:
This is the most powerful aid to peace of mind. We often develop ill feelings inside our heart for the person who insults us or harms us. We nurture grievances. This in turn results in loss of sleep, development of stomach ulcers, and high blood pressure. This insult or injury was done once, but nourishing of grievance goes on forever by constantly remembering it. Get over this bad habit. Life is too short to waste in such trifles. Forgive,20Forget, and march on. Love flourishes in giving and forgiving.

3. Do Not Crave For Recognition:
This world is full of selfish people. They seldom praise anybody without selfish motives. They may praise you today because you are in power, but no sooner than you are powerless, they will forget your achievement and will start finding faults in you. Why do you wish to kill yours lf in striving for their recognition? Their recognition is not worth the aggravation. Do your duties ethically and sincerely.

4. Do Not Be Jealous:
We all have experienced how jealousy can disturb our peace of mind. You know that you work harder than your colleagues in the office, but sometimes they get promotions; you do not. You started a business several years ago, but you are not as successful as your neighbor whose business is only one year old. There are several examples like these in everyday life. Should you be jealous? No. Remember everybody's life is shaped by his/her destiny, which has now become his/her reality. If you are destined to be rich, nothing in the world can stop you. If you are not so destined, no one can help you either. Nothing will be gained by blaming others for your misfortune. Jealousy will not get you anywhere; it will only take away your peace of mind.

5. Change Yourself According To The Environment:
If you try to change the environment single-handedly, the chances are you will fail. Instead, change yourself to suit your environment. As you do this, even the environment, which has been unfriendly to you, will mysteriously change and seem congenial and harmonious.

6. Endure What Cannot Be Cured:
This is the best way to turn a disadvantage into an advantage. Every day we face numerous inconveniences, ailments, irritations, and accidents that are beyond our control... If we cannot control them or change them, we must learn to put up with these things. We must learn to endure them cheerfully. Believe in yourself and you will gain in terms of patience, inner strength and will power.

7. Do Not Bite Off More Than You Can Chew:
This maxim needs to be remembered constantly. We often tend to take more responsibilities than we are capable of carrying out. This is done to satisfy our ego. Know your limitations. . Why take on additional loads that may create more worries? You cannot gain peace of mind by expanding your external activities. Reduce your material engagements and spend time in prayer, introspection and meditation. This will reduce those thoughts in your mind that make you restless. Uncluttered mind will produce greater peace of mind.

8. Meditate Regularly:
Meditation calms the mind and gets rid of disturbing thoughts. This is the highest state of peace of mind. Try and experience it yourself. If you meditate earnestly for half an hour everyday, your mind will tend to become peaceful during the remaining twenty-three and half-hours. Your mind will not be easily disturbed as it was before. You would benefit by gradually increasing the period of daily meditation. You may think that this will interfere with your daily work. On the contrary, this will increase your efficiency and you will be able to produce better results in less time.

9. Never Leave The Mind Vacant:
An empty mind is the devil's workshop. All evil actions start in the vacant mind. Keep your mind occupied in something positive, something worthwhile . Actively follow a hobby. Do something that holds your interest. You must decide what you value more: money or peace of mind. Your hobby, like social work or religious work, may not always earn you more money, but you will have a sense of fulfillment and achievement. Even when you are resting physically, occupy yourself in healthy reading or mental chanting of God's name.

10. Do Not Procrastinate And Never Regret:
Do not waste time in protracted wondering " Should I or shouldn't I?" Days, weeks, months, and years may be wasted in that futile mental debating. You can never plan enough because you can never anticipate all future happenings. Value your time and do the things that need to be done. It does not matter if you fail the first time. You can learn from your mistakes and succeed the next time. Sitting back and worrying will lead to nothing. Learn from your mistakes, but do not brood over the past. DO NOT REGRET. Whatever happened was destined to happen only that way. Why cry over spilt milk?

The Socrates Triple Filter Test

Something we could do from now on!

The Socrates Triple Filter Test

In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem.

One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, "Do you know what I just heard about your friend?"

Hold on a minute," Socrates replied. "Before telling me anything, I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."

Triple filter?"

That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say. That's why I call it the triple filter test.

The first filter is TRUTH. “Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”

No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and..."

All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of GOODNESS. “Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?”

No, on the contrary..."

So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, but you're not certain it's true. You may still pass the test though, because there's one filter left: the filter of USEFULNESS. “Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?”

“No… not really…”

“Well,” concluded Socrates, "If what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?"

This is why Socrates was a great philosopher & held in such high esteem. Friends, use this triple filter each time you hear loose talk about any of your near & dear friends.

Brain-Child Learning

The Brain-Child Learning (BCL) is a mind development workshop targeted at children between 6 to 14 years of age.This revolutionary coursework is the result of intensive research into human brain and its potential. As we have known, our mind operates in the realm of two brain hemispheres, the analytical left and the creative right hemisphere. In the past fifteen years research on the brain has exploded as new techniques allow scientist to probe areas of human brain and its thinking pattern. The left hemisphere is described as analytical because it operates in linear and sequential pattern by moving from one point to another in a step-by-step manner. It is most efficient in processing verbal information.

The right hemisphere is the creative section where it seeks and constructs patterns and recognises relationship between separate parts. It does not move linearly but processes simultaneously. It is most efficient at visual and spatial processing where language plays little or no part in its functioning.

Left Brain Functions

• uses logic
• detailed orientation
• facts rule
• words & language
• past & present
• math & science
• can comprehend
• knowing (facts)
• acknowledges
• order & pattern pe
• rception
• knows object name
• reality based
• forms strategies
• practical
• conservative (cautious

Right Brain Functions

• uses feeling
• ‘big picture’ oriented
• imagination rules
• symbols & image
• present & future
• philosophy & religion
• can ‘get it !’ (i.e. meaning
• believes (intuition
• appreciates
• spatial perception
• knows object function
• fantasy based
• presents possibilities
• impetuous (impulsive)
• risk taking (gut feeling)

Referring to above one can see the differences of operation between both brain hemispheres. Guided by the left brain, theories suggest that left-brain people respond in sequential, logical ways and this group of people are strong in math and science, and can answer questions quickly.

Most people in modern world operate as left-brain people due to the education system in school which focus on left brain training…

On the contrary, right-brain people are dreamers who are led by intuition and creativity. Right brainers think deeply and may have high level of intelligence.

Right brainers make great students of arts and social science. Besides being more spontaneous than the conservative left-brainers, right brainers are intuitive and prefer to follow their own gut feelings when it comes to decision making.

Do not copy, if you cannot paste!

A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience.
..
..
He said: "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!"
..
..
The audience was in silence and shock.
..
..
The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!"
..
..
Laughter and applause continued!
..
..
A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home.
..
..
He was a bit foggy after a drink.
..
..
He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"
..
..
The wife went wan with shock and rage.
..
..
Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who she was!"
..
..
..
Moral of the story:
..
..
..
..
..
Do not copy, if you cannot paste!

Indian Marriages: A Choice between Wife and Mother

Introduction

Getting married is a stage in one's life, where two people decide to be together for the rest of their life and share their time, emotions and feelings. Decision can be taken either by the concerned couple, on its own or they decide to be together by the wishes and choice of their respective parents. The end result in both the cases is that you are accepting a new person in your life and by doing so you are trying to "change" the pattern of your life. We all know that "Change" of any kind has always been resisted and it require very high level of "maturity", "Understanding" and "adjustment". Many times, many people fail to address this issue and hence end-up with very high level of stress, resulting in burn-outs, violence and some health related issues. In this article, we will be reading about the position, situation, role, expectations and challenges of a Husband.

 

Expectations of a Mother

1. A mother is the one who gave you life and carried you in her womb for nine long months.
2. She was the one who understood your needs, wants and expectations, when you were not even able to speak.
3. She fought for you and defended you all the time, even when you were wrong. She was your first teacher.
4. She taught you lessons, which you would not have learned on your own or in any university of the world.
5. She fought with her husband, when you were in need of money.
6. She woke-up early in the morning to prepare breakfast for you and to pack the lunch for you. She always made sure that you eat on time.
7. She never slept on nights when you were sick, she just sat beside you.
8. She was your first friend.
9. When you were sad, hurt and in pain, she listened to you and motivated you...gave you hope. You shared your emotions, feelings, experiences with her, without any hesitation and she always listened to you and never complained. She listened to you, even then when she was not even able to understand as what you are saying...but she never let you know that.

She did all this and many more things for you without complaining.

After your marriage her only expectation is that you continue to be the same person as you were before; talk to her, give time to her, share with her and should not hide anything from her.

Once you get married, she starts feeling insecure. She treats your wife as an intruder in her relation with you. She becomes more possessive about you and feel insure when you do not behave the way she want you to behave.

 

She expects you to marry the girl of "her choice" (Not necessary or a compulsion but a hidden wish). She expects you to treat your wife the way she wants her to be treated (this includes many hidden and unspoken expectations).

 

Expectations of a Wife

 

Just like what your mother has done for you and has gone for you; even the mother of your wife has also gone through the same. She too has same feeling, emotions and attachment for her mother as you have for yours. Her mother also feels in the same way as your mother feels for you. But then, there is a difference. She has left that house, that comfort, that attachment to walk with you for rest of her life; to make your Home. She is linked to your house and family through you. It is for you and because of you that she is there in this home which was yours, all these days.

 

Always remember, what you promised her at the time of marriage. This is an important ritual in Hindu Marriages and it is very significant. It goes like this:

 

"The Bridegroom gets up from his seat holding his bride's right hand. He then goes around the Holy Fire (Agni) from the right side, by lifting his bride's right feet at each step. This is done for seven steps. With each step, he recites a mantra addresses to the bride.(This is also called as Sapta-Padi or Saat Pharey) These are the seven vows which are exchanged.

1. The first for food,
2. The second for strength,
3. The third for prosperity,
4. The fourth for wisdom,
5. The fifth for progeny,
6. The sixth for health and
7. The seventh for friendship

In some regions, in stead of walking the seven steps, the bride touches seven stones or nuts with her right toe. A symbolic matrimonial knot is tied after this ceremony.

 

The idea behind this is to pray to Lord Vishnu, the protector of life, for his blessings in marital life. The groom then recites a mantra to convey the following meaning: After crossing seven steps with me thus, you should become my Friend. I too have become your friend now. I will never discord this friendship and you should not also do that.

• Let us be together always.
• Let us resolve to do things in life in the same manner and tread the same path. Let us lead a life by liking and loving each other, having good heart and thoughts, and enjoying the food and our strong points together.
• Let us have undivided opinions.
• Let us have same and joint desires.
• I will be Sama (one of the vedas); you will be Rig (another Veda).
• Let me be the Heaven; you be the Earth.
• Let me be the Shukla (Moon) and you be its wearer.
• Let me be the mind and you its spokesman (Vak).
• After all, these promises, she does expects you to be with her; love her, care for her, listen to her, spend time with her and protect her.

Dilemma of Son / Husband

 

Getting married is nothing but a change. Change in the pattern of your life. Your marriage changes your views towards life. Very often, in this part of the world males, at the time of marriages are not very much matured to handle this change. Even though, things around them are changing. Even though things in their own life is changing and this change needs high level of maturity, understanding and adjustment but this husband is not ready for this change; neither mentally nor psychologically. He wants to live in the same manner as he was before and that creates lots of problems. He listens to his wife; he listens to his mother but is unable to make

decision and take stand. This actually shows that the male is emotionally very weak.

 

Solution and Conclusion

 

Get married only then when you think that you are "prepared" to take new responsibilities; when you are ready for "Change" in your life.

 

Don't marry, just because "people around you wants" to get married. For others, including your parents, relatives and friends, your marriage is a function but for you its "Life Long Commitment"; don't make any commitment, if you are not very sure of fulfilling it.

 

Mother should ask her son to treat his wife in the manner as she wants her son-in-law to treat her own daughter(s).

 

Wife should ask her husband to treat his mother in the same manner as she wants her brother to treat their mother.

 

It is easy to say but I treat families and relations like this; for example, I have one son and one daughter. Once they get married, I will be having two sons and two daughters.

 

Your life is nothing but a choice that you make. These are my thoughts and views; you might or might not accept and agree with the solution and conclusion...

Changing your people's Attitudes & Behavior

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

A leader's job often includes changing your people's attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this:

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

10 Things To Say To Keep The Peace

So many big arguments begin with small comments. How many times have you started a conversation on friendly terms, and then wound up in some kind of dispute that you didn't anticipate?

In my work as a family, divorce, and small-claims mediator, I've seen countless offhand remarks start a fight or add fuel to an existing fire. And I have found myself in plenty of situations where I've wanted to give someone (my husband, a colleague) what I thought was helpful advice only to inadvertently offend him or her.

The holidays, with all their extended-family gatherings, can be a verbal minefield. You're either dodging nosy questions from some tactless relative over dinner ("Still dieting then?") or taking out the stress of all that extra cooking and shopping on those dearest to you ("Do I have to do everything around here?").

It doesn't have to be that bad. Use these 10 go-to phrases to defuse potentially volatile conversations and help you get through the coming weeks and the months and years to follow in harmony.

1. "Thank you for your opinion. I'll think about it. "When you receive unsolicited advice at a family gathering, such as Aunt Sylvia's suggestion that you change your hairstyle, just smile and respond with this casual conversation terminator. If you're rudely asked a question like "Are you still single?" don't reply with a lengthy excuse. Say, "Yes, and I'll let you know if anything changes." The goal is to be polite and end the conversation. There is no need to be defensive or rude.

2. "Is this a good time for you?" Whenever I want my husband's full attention for a conversation and I don't want to compete with a football game on TV, I ask this simple question. If he gives me a green light by saying yes (and turning off the game), I proceed. If he says no, I ask, "When would be a better time?" We then agree on another time and a fight is avoided. Consider using this line at work, too. Your boss and coworkers

3. "Would you like my thoughts?" One of the biggest complaints kids have about parents is that they constantly issue orders and judgments. Sometimes this is a parent's job. But if you are often confronted with an angry response ("Who made you the authority?" or "It's none of your business"), you might benefit from dialing back. Ask your child if she wants to hear what you have to say. If she says yes, it means she is ready to listen. If she says no, then button your lip. This works for adult family members, too.

4. "Why don't we get the facts?" Some people who come to mediation tend to argue about anything and everything, including things that can be easily resolved. If you find yourself in a dispute with your brother about the price of a car or the name of the restaurant you went to over the holidays last year, state this one-liner, then look up prices online, call a store, or drive by the restaurant not so one of you can say, "I told you so," but so you can move on from the discussion before it spirals into a fight.

5. "I need your help. Can you please…?" People often ask me what they can say to family members or coworkers who don't assume their share of responsibility. Here's my simple tip: Rather than accusing the person of being lazy or inconsiderate, ask her for what you want and be specific. "Since we both drink coffee, how about if I make the pot and you clean it, or vice versa?" People are not mind readers.

6. "Let's wait on this until we have more information". Know when to table a discussion. One couple came to me with a dispute that had turned into a huge problem for them: They were constantly arguing over whether they should stay in their city apartment or move to a house in the suburbs. The issue wasn't which choice they should make (they had already agreed they wouldn't move for three years, or until their oldest child reached school age); it was that they were having a premature argument. At times like these, it's important to remind yourself and your conversation partner that it's too early to discuss the issue. Preferences will change over time, as will facts, such as home prices.

7. "What did you mean by that?" Sometimes asking the right question is all it takes to avoid an argument. We all make assumptions about other people's intentions. Asked in a genuinely interested (and not passive-aggressive) way, this question allows your conversation partner to explain himself before you jump to conclusions. Only then should you offer your response.

8. "I don't like that, so why don't we do this instead?" This is how to complain with impact. Rather than nagging your mate about a problem, focus on finding a solution for the future. For example, instead of moaning about buying all the holiday gifts, suggest that he shop for the men in the family and you buy for the women or split some other duties.

9. "I'm sorry you're upset." When you find yourself frustrated with a friend or a close family member who didn't take your advice, you desperately want to say something like "I told you so" or "That was a dumb thing to do." Don't. Dishing out criticism won't change a thing. A compassionate response will help you both move forward.

10. "Let me get back to you." Everyone needs a prepared comment to delay a response when he or she is put on the spot. For example, a cousin suggests you prepare a main course for her potluck Christmas party for 20 people or the president of the PTA picks you to head a committee for a year. Keep this line handy at all times, especially during the holiday season. If you don't want the person to feel as if she is being dismissed, give her a time when she can expect a response: "Let me get back to you by tomorrow afternoon." And then make sure that you do.

Six ways to make people like you

1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile.
3. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
6. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

Win people to your way of thinking

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. 
2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong." 
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. 
4. Begin in a friendly way. 
5. Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately. 
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking. 
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers. 
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view. 
9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires. 
10. Appeal to the nobler motives. 
11. Dramatize your ideas. 
12. Throw down a challenge.

3 short & most effective ways in handling people

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Abraham Lincoln - Creative Touch

On the first day, as President Abraham Lincoln entered to give his inaugural address, just in the middle, one man stood up. He was rich aristocrat. He said, "Mr Lincoln, you should not forget that your father used to make shoes for my family". And the whole Senate laughed; they thought they had made a fool of Abraham Lincoln.

 

But Lincoln - and that type of people are made of a totally mettle, Lincoln looked at the man and said, "Sir I know that my father used to make shoes in your house for your family, and here will be many others here.... because the way he made shoes; nobody else can. He was a creator. His shoes were not just shoes, he poured his whole soul in it. I want to ask you, have you any complaint? Because i know how to make shoes myself; if you have complaint I can make another pair of shoes. But as far as I know, nobody has ever complained about my father's shoes. He was a genius, a great creator and I am proud of my father".

The whole Senate was struck dumb. They could not understand what kind of man Abraham Lincoln was. He had made shoes making an art, a creativity. And he was proud because his father did the job so well that not even a single complaint had ever been heard.

It does not matter what you do. What matters is how you do it - of our own accord. Then whatever you touch becomes gold.